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Chapter 4 - Page 22

July 20th, 2013, 11:00 am

Average Rating: 5.00

Author's Comments:

Reply Advertisement, May 21st, 2018, 8:58 pm

User's Comments:

Reply Andromeda Lazuli, July 20th, 2013, 11:56 am

Um, I... Lost my... Contact lense...?

Reply Baggs (Guest), July 20th, 2013, 5:12 pm

Hello This is a pretty interesting comic, I like the character designs and the story so far. The art is a little jagged and sketchy, and certain things like the anatomy and pen shading could use some work. In the last panel it looks as if cupid is standing, even though he's kneeling down, usually when someone is kneeling on the ground they slouch their head forward like this or jpg.
Also, while it's totally your style, the noses from the front are kind of off sometimes. Sometimes the characters look like voldemort since the noses usually turn into one, straight line in front and quarter profiles. There's a lot of unnecessary, extra lines, I know it's for shading the it doesn't look like shading and they're sometimes placed in weird spots like in the third panel where the front/top of his pants are shaded while the round part of the table shows the light is coming from the right. The lines are very thin, like there wasn't any confidence put into them, making the lines thicker where shadows are supposed to be or to emphasize where the focus is supposed to be brings more life into the lines are pages, also using gutters between panels helps distinguish between them and making the comic easier to read.
The perspective is a little off, like in the first panel the floor looks like it's on a slant and the chairs look like their right up against the glass instead of against a table, Trying using some horizon points. Perspective can be a real bitch if you're not used to it, but the more practice you do the better you get at it. Also, even though the designs are interesting, everyone kind of looks the same. The guys are the girls both have girly looks to them, jagged jawlines with the same type of huge eyes, here's so links on facial structure

Here's a post that has a TON of helpful links on it. le/t.69784179/
Sorry if this post offends you or if the links don't work, smackjeeves comments and links do not like each other.
Anyways, again, I do like your comic and I check for updates often. I just wanted to point some things out.

Reply Sybia, July 21st, 2013, 10:38 am

Hi 8) ! @Baggs: What a long comment ! First of all, thank you very much for taking time to write it, and giving such useful links, I'm genuinely touched to see that someone is interessed enough in our comic to leave such a constructive comment :) .

Next thing, about my art. I'm aware that there are a lot of problems, I'm councious that I'm still an amateur, and I do my best to correct all my mistakes or bad habbits (like the hatching, I'll try to restrain myself even more !) ^^'. My style is constantly evolving, that's why the lines can still be a little sketchy or hesitant.

As for the noses, it's also a matter of style. I know everyone probably won't like it but it's a personal choice. For the big eyes, well, it's a manga after all 8) (what I mean here is that my art-style takes inspiration from classic shoujo manga). In addition to this, I'm used to draw more girls than boys, which probably explains why the boys can have girly faces ^^' (except some characters, such as Cupid, who are purposely meant to have girly face 8D). I'm trying to correct that by drawing more guys, but bad habbits die hard. x)
I didn't really notice that all characters look the same. I thought that changing the hair, the shape of the eyes and the eyebrows, and things like that were enough. I really tried to vary. I'll do what I can for correct that !

Also, about the perspective... Yup, we hate each others xD I only started using horizon points since this year, and I'm still really bad at it ^^' But I really try my best to put some backgrounds (and improve at drawing them) in the comic, because without it, it does look very empty ^^'.
And, well, anatomy is veeeeery hard, and really not a strong point of mine. There're so many things, it's really complex. But as you said, there's only one way to improve my art : practising, practising aaaaaaaand practising :).

Once again, thank you for all your advices. Comments like yours really motivate me to do my best to make a good comic :) I practise as much as I can, even if my progress is slow ^^'

That said, have a good day ! :)

Reply Baggs (Guest), July 21st, 2013, 1:47 pm

@Sybia: Thank you for being so accepting of critique. C:
It's not the fact that you use hatch lines, it's just the placement and the lack of confidence in them, I used to have a lot of trouble myself with traditional inking and I got better by drawing pictures just to practice hatching and line weight. Using a type of pen that you have trouble working with can affect how the lines look, but ink work can look really awesome once you get the hang of it!

Ah, I understand that, though there's a good and bad way to go about having a certain style. Practicing the basic structure of what you want to stylize can help a lot with the quality if the stylization, the more you know about what you're stylizing the better you can stylize it, if you know what I mean. Your facial structures don't seem very well practiced, so the nose looks more like a strange line, such styles can look good and portray that it's a nose while still being a simple line by practicing drawing the raw facial structure (A.k.a basic realistic, or a more realistic stylization).
Technically there really isn't any such thing as "manga style" since Japanese stylized art comes in many different levels and forms of stylization, and can look the same as western stylized art and vise versa.
Drawing how different characters react to certain events also helps, since people don't all react or make the same expressions when confronted with a similar problem.
As for the faces, there are some tutorials linked above that explain different facial structures, there is more to different faces than different eyes, hair and eyebrows. There's different jaw shapes, noses, eyes, hairlines, cheek bones, eyebrows, lips, chins, ears, cowlicks, foreheads, etc. Limiting change to just so many features doesn't do much to make the characters look different, it is very possible to make vastly different looking characters and still accomplish a Japanese inspired stylization.

Yeah, it can be a pain trying to do proper perspective, I still hate doing it but it helps SO much to make the comic look better. Just keep practicing, trying adding little details for the fun of it, and make sure it stays consistent and practical (Like the streets having street signs and what not).
Nah, it just seems like there's a lot to anatomy because you haven't really studied it enough, everything seems hard and complicated when you start out doing it, but when you get it down it gets really easy and you look back on your old art and you think "Wow, why didn't I see that before". It's all how you look at it, if you see anatomy/perspective/etc as hard and complicated than it will be hard and complicated, but if you see learning it as a great experience you'll have an easier time learning it, you draw because you love it, right? So why feel negative about getting better at it? Just be positive.
This artist has a HUGE series of awesome tutorials in the artist description of this tutorial, as well as the rest of the Understanding Anatomy series, you really should check them all out!

Also, again, thank you for taking my critique. There aren't enough artist out there anymore who have the brass balls to take it.
Do your best, and you have a nice day as well! C:

Reply crazylupus, July 22nd, 2013, 9:19 am

oO C'est quoi ce commentaire publicitaire XDDD
Bref garde tes petits bouts de nez comme ça moi ye les zaimeuuuuh *-*

Sinon un reak qui parle à des freaks a propos de freaks XD décidément lol
Alalalala j'adore sa tenue mais où allez-vous chercher tout ça <3

Reply Sybia, July 22nd, 2013, 11:37 am

@crazylupus: huhu t'en fais pas, il est pas question d'abandonner mes petits bouts de nez, juste de mieux les placer :3 (c'est à dire que la feignasse que je suis devrais commencer à observer l'anatomie un peu plus sérieusement \o/).
Sinon, c'est quand même sympa de la part de la personne, elle cherche à m'aider :')

Quant à la tenue de Cupidon, faut toujours garder en tête qu'il doit être... flamboyant 8D

Reply crazylupus, July 22nd, 2013, 11:49 am

Ah oui moi j'avais un problème qui ressurgit d temps en temps que je n'avais jamais capté avant que quelqu'un ne le remarque: mes mentons décalés donnaient l'impression que mon personnage s'était prit une porte XD

Ha ha alors ça pour être flamboyante... C'est carrément disco XD

Reply Sybia, July 22nd, 2013, 2:14 pm

@Baggs: You’re welcome :) ! Since you have constructive arguments, there is no reason not to accepting them !
About the inking, I’m still looking for a pen I would be comfortable working with, so I’m still trying differents ones :)

Oh ok, I understand what you mean ! Like the perspective, I started studying anatomy this year (since I started an art school), but I mostly learnt how to draw the entire body, without going into details with the face (so thanks for the tutorials, they seem very clear, I’ll take a look !). But even now I can assure you that when I look at my old work, my eyes burn xD.
And when I say «manga», I’m just using a general term :P

I already draw my character reacting to different situations :) (Working on expressions is the part I prefer when I draw a character ^^)
Thank you for all your suggestions about the face structure, I'll take a note of that, but for the time being I need to improve my knowledge about the anatomy and try out different things before adding details in the characters’ faces.

And when I say «I’m bad at this, or that», i’m not being negative or anything like that, it’s just that I’m never really satisfied with my work, I’m aware that I have a lot of progress to make and I want to always get better (It’s my way to motivate myself)... I don’t know if I’m making sense xD

Therefore, thank you for the tutorials and critiques, comments like that are always welcome :3 !
I wish you all the best !

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